April 18, 2025 - 8:00am

Lenten Meditation: April 18, 2025

Lenten Meditation: April 18, 2025

Good Friday
Daily Scripture Passage: John 18:1-8

I have a picture of Jesus standing in a garden with his disciples, waiting for Judas to arrive with a detachment of soldiers to arrest him. The soldiers, police, and Judas all apparently arrive at the same place, but it is Jesus who takes the initiative. Whom are you looking for? Jesus says. They answer, Jesus of Nazareth; and Jesus says, I am he - which is the English translation of the Greek ego eimi - which really means, simply yet profoundly, I am.

In reflecting on this picture, I realize that one of my most profound desires in life is to be able to stand up facing my greatest fears and say, I am. Yes. I am a woman, a Christian, a lesbian, a bishop, a friend, a lover, a partner, a human being. I am other things as well, and like every other human being, I am a child of God. This is who I am. I need you. And, dare I say it? You need me. We need each other. But sometimes I am afraid. I am afraid that if you really begin to see all my faults and warts - all the things that are a part of my being human; if you begin to realize the many times I've been mean, or judgmental, or even violent - that you will reject me. Maybe even greater than that is the fear that people who don't even know me will reject me because I fit into this or that category of people. I want to face this fear in me that can immobilize and bind me up and be able to say, in the same spirit of freedom that Jesus embodied, I am.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

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